Kakashi And The Sad Love
by Kakashi Nuttcase
Summary: Have you ever lost a loved one, well kakashi has.  A story about kakashi finding true love after falling apart from sakura's death.  Anko the weird freak is making kakashi and all the other men drewl.  Will he make a move?  Or will he stay alone forever?
1. When it all began

**OK KAKASHI LOST SAKURA ON A DARING MISSION AFTER THEY ADMITTED THERE LOVE A YEAR AGO AND HE AND HER MOVED IN TOGETHER THEY WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED**

My heart ached my love decreased to nothing I layed in bed for hours just waiting for sakura to come home . I was doomed to a endless night of suffering from lonlyness . I stayed still for a moment of sorrow staring into the side of the bed where she always whould lay . Finally the endless night of angry and sadness was over as the sun rose up leaveing the room to shimmer . I sat up hopeing for someone to come from behind and embrasse me and beg for me to stay . But once again it was never going to happen another tear slipped down my cheek as I remembered her cheerful face .  
The funeral had already been held and whole time I couldn't help but feel it was all my fault . Everyone told me not to cry but I don't know how that could help me . My tears were the same feeling I had without the wet drops streaming over my cheeks . The whole thing was sad and depressing, black surrounded me as I weeped. It was like the devil was on guard for punishment and I was the target. But when it ended the feeling of guilt never left my sore achie body.

It had been the same for a while sleepless nights, endless tears, and little food in my gut for I couldn't stomach it. I longed the most for the gentle touch of her hand and her soft words but I've wanted that ever sense the pain of her death took it's toll.

***FLASHBACK***

The sun had just poured out of the clouds spreading them to the sides. My shadow was seen and my mind racing a mile a minute wondering if sakura would be ok when I got to the hospitial. She always would tell me"Just another cut or bruise don't worry about it". I started to think what if she won't make it how would I feel more importantly how would I live without her touch or soft words to wake me for a mission. I started to panick I raced to the hospitial.

*Nock*"Yes who is it"exclaimed tsunade. He walked carefully through the door to sakura's room.

"I-I-is she ok"studdered the shocked kakashi. He always seem to be different when it came to sakura.

Tsunades face became white"Wait they didn't tell you"she said upsetted by something.

"W-w-what do you mean my lady"I shivered at her reaction.

"Its,its just she d-d..."she had to stop a sec before she could begin again. "She died while we were operating I'm sorry kakashi" said tsunade trying not to burst into terrible tears .

I dropped to my knees "why, why?" I kept repeating those single words .

"Kakashi sensei" shouted a sufficated voice from the hallway .

Naruto ran in the room "no no sakura is she no it can't no it just can't be no" said the blond in complete denile .

Tsunade walked over to naruto and slapped him "shut the hell up you moron can't you see hes suffering" yelped tsunade . Naruto looked at me laying on my hand and knees leaveing tears to spread slowly on my fingure tips .

"Kakashi sensei" the blond said soothingly "are you ok" .

"Why her why couldn't it of been me?" I asked sniffleing and trying to gather my thoughts .

***END OF FLASHBACK***

"Why, thats all I could say for days and now I'm dead inside with tears running on low" . "My face is pale my body is going to the dogs what is wrong with me" . "Her family don't feel as much of her death as I do just why the hell do I feel so rotten"I shouted to the empty room . My heart couldn't take the pain I couldn't move it all just froze . My mind started running again dam-it love god are they real or is this all a dream". "Nothing is real fuck what is real, is real what we choose if real is what we choose why isn't sakura here with me damn-it why is it so confusing" I screamed. My body my mind everything I thought. I grabbed my face in despret need of answers.

I calmed down a little and lied back down into the bed. "Huh" I said while thinking. Isn't it kinda funny I can't even comfort myself with icha icha paradise I thought while stareing in the orange cover of a book that read make out paradise. I brought my fingers to the edge and brushed it soothingly while I remebered the terrible day of her death. "What was it that made me love her"I whispered out of my thoughts while falling in a deep sleep.

***THE NEXT DAY***

"Fuck this I am not going to fucking pout inside all day!" . I stood up grabbed my jacket and slipped on some jeans . "Fuck no clean shirts fine sandles, a pair of faded blue jeans, and a blood red jacket will have to do"I said to myself, man I was messed up when I said that . I walked out the door and the sun it "Crap that hurts i geuss when you stay inside for weeks doing nothing but letting tears flow the sun doesn't help". My eyes started to water and I flipped my hood on . Dam-it I wonder how the others are taking it I thought while walking through a leaky old ally .

The ally was very, how should I put it, dirty. It had several trash cans laying in all sorts of positions. It had little space between the old and grimey brick walls. If you thought it out, four people at the most could fit. The ground smelled like rotten bananas and the walls reaked of old cheese. It made me want to ralph. It was nice to have a maske to help with most of it.

"Sensei shouted the blond wearing black from behind. He ran to the opening in the ally.

"Naruto what are you doing here?" I asked regretting the words .

"Well I heard you finally left home so I just had to say hello" he said jumping up and down .

"Well then why are you wearing black?" .

"Oh yah I forgot to tell you this is the day sasuke died" he said tring to cover the blood shot eyes from his tears. "Remember it was about four years ago" he added. Oh yes why I only have one student left standing I thought. "Sensei, its ok its ok I know what your thinking I will always be here for you" he said with a sniffle .

'Um thats not quiet what I was thinking but thanks". I started to think about sakura and the tears returned .

"Sensei please calm down its been two months you have too stop crying" said the fox patting my back and trying to comfort me .

"Shut the hell up you all say the same thing don't cry it won't help well I don't care anymore. I will cry tell there nothing left so shut the hell up already, you all talk to much"I screamed wanting no response .

"Fine then if thats how you feel I leave you here alone goodbye!"he shouted before leaveing.

I was all alone again but this time in dirty old ally and nothing to curl up in . "I'm so stupid there I go driveing people away from me" I whispered to myself . My heart started to ache again, I can't I just can't do it anymore he thought falling to the ground face first . I laid in this position for a long time not knowing what to do. "Sakura oh sakura what am I to do"I said to the cold ground.

Iruka soon walked around the ally corner kakashi what the hell is he dead thought the teacher. He walked a little closer in the cramped space. He then grabbed a small oak branch and poked my cold body.

"What the hell do you want"I murmured.

"Oh few your alive"said iruka with a deep breath of relief.

"I wish I wasn't"I commented. Iruka walked over to me and swiftly lifting my arm around his shoulder.

"Your coming with me"said the cheerful dolphin.

"Really iruka just leave me to die"I said trying not to sound miserable.

Iruka refused and dragged my limpless body to his home. He jiggled the door nob and swinged me in the door way. He sat me on the old yellow couch and brought me some tea. He soon tried to get me to take a blanket.

"Kakashi please take the blanket or you will get sick"insisted the teacher. He finally got annoyed of asking and rapped it around me.

"So what is wrong, you can tell old iruka anything"he said while sitting beside me with one leg over the other. I began to mumble and my words started to piece together.

"She's dead, I will never beable to hold her, she will never come home again, and my tears won't stop but yet I don't want them to, and everyone is just pretending like she never left".

"Kakashi stop its ok don't talk anymore cry as much as you want"said iruka while letting my head rest on his chest. Which was even wierd for iruka, especially since I wasn't crying. He normaly would stay away from me ever since I showed naruto my little orange book. He embrassed me and started rubbing the side of my arm like sakura did.

"Iruka"I said in a low whisper"could you stay here with me for a while"I said to try and make him happy even though it wouldn't make me in the brightest of all moods.

Iruka replied with a "Yes and continued to rub my arm knowing it would help, sadly he was wrong it was just creepy.

"Do you need anything kakashi you look hungry"said the worried iruka.

"Do you mind just getting me some basic rice"I answered trying to not sound like I was commanding him.

"Yes, I'm just glad your talking, friend"said the dolphin while standing and walking to the kitchen. I am asking to much he might ask me to do him a favor, but its fun letting him get me stuff I thought.

"Oh kakashi~"sang iruka bringing the tray with the rice on it.

"Oh thank you iruka"I responded as the tray was sat on my lap. Suddenly my breathing became very heavy.

"Kakashi are you ok?" asled the conserned teacher while I grabbed my chest gasping for air.

"I-I-I can't breath"I studdered.

"Just wait here I will get tsunade"and the dolphin left. I then fell unconsious laying down on the old raty couch. I probaly would of been fine if he stayed but iruka hasn't been know for his calm reactions during emergencys.

* * *

**I have finally fixed it, it still needs more details and stuff, so if you feel it needs fixin send me a review.**


	2. Anko Really

***KAKASHI'S DREAM***

I was in a white space covered in nothing but blood.

"Sakura, sakura"I screamed only to hear my scared words echo. I finally found her after running for what felt like a eternity. She was laying face first, not moveing, but no blood was on her body.

"Sakura"I walked over to her lifting her in my arms. My eyes became wide when I looked at the face with no nose or eyes, just a mouth. The deformed being started to laugh.

"Haha sakura's gone you foolish man"it screamed releasing a shrieck of laughter.

"No she can't be no please no"I screamed. Sakura appeared behind me and started to speack.

"Kakashi why, why didn't you save me kakashi, why?" it asked me. I dropped the body and turned only to see her fade away.

"No sakura come back"I shouted as I chased the pink smoke that was her.

"Sakuras gone sakuras gone"it echoed through the empty sector.

"Kakashi, kakashi"I heard my name as I woke up.

"Iruka is that you"I said while sitting up.

"Yes baka who else"he chuckled a little.

"Where am I?"I asked a little confused. I started to contemplate my dream and realized I'm a whinie little girl in my dreams. I didn't even wait for a answer I immediately zoned out.

"Kakashi are you ok your sweating" ran through one ear and swinged out the other .

"Kakashi, kakashi, kakashi!"shouted the dolphin getting extremely pissed again.

"Oh sorry"I replied waveing my hands in the air nervously .

"Stop that your retard and lets get out of the hospitial already it gives me the creepy crawlys" commented the teacher .

I let my arms sit on my chest and said "iruka if you hate it so much why are you still here" . The man with the large scar on his nose started laughing out of place .

"Oh oh sorry I its so" he started again "haha" .

"Iruka calm down chill whats so funny" .The brown haired man stopped and looked at me seriously, "are you kidding there is no one else here to get you am I right".I thought about sakura and those many times she would have to pick me up from the hospitial . A tear sheded down my face and I started to smile .

"Maybe the memories of sakura are good thing" .

"Kakashi have you made a break through" .

"Iruka not funny sakura I loved her and can't even think about ever loving someone else but I think she wouldn't want me to moarn her".

"Kakashi you really are stupid it took you this long to figure it out".

"Then why didn't you tell me you ungrateful little dolphin".

"Why you I told everyone from the beginning not to call me that ,and besides I was the one that didn't leave you to die remember?"

"I am finally home after all that crap" said iruka with a deep sigh .

"Iruka you got a mouth now don't ya" I commented just to see his face turn red . It was so funny a little red vain popped out of his forhead . And he looked like a cherry .

"Kakashi you jackass if you come near me I will shove my foot up your ass"he screamed it was so entertaining.

"Its fine though your finally smileing" he said as he slowly calmed his reaction .

I smacked the back of his head and turned to pull up my mask "oops" I said .

He got up and said "omg I think I finally figured out who that mysterious women was in the hospitial".

I looked at him and gave him a face of confusion "huh" I said .

He replied with "well you were out cold and this woman kept looking in the room".

I sighed for his curiousoty "who is it" I said not really wanting to know .

Iruka started to chuckle madly "Hahaha-a-haha-n-hahaha-k-hahaha-o-haha".

"What is so funny about anko!" I shouted, he was starting another round of annoying laughter.

He stopped and said "well I haven't seen her since sakura, well... you know she just looks really different .

I stood up from the coach and stretched "well thats scary she was wierd from the beginning how more wierd can she get" I exclaimed with a giggle .

Iruka grabbed my elbow and whispered "she got normal not wierd" .

I turned to him and said "what is that supposed to mean" . But he just dissappeared it kinda pissed me off . Then I noticed I was cussing in my thoughts, I was getting better!

* * *

**WELL BIG PLANS FOR CHAPTER 3 AND I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE ONCE AGAIN FOR WHEN ALL THE CHAPTER WERE TO LIKE 8 AND THERE WERE ONLY 4OO WORDS IN THEM.**

KAKASHI:why did I have to fall in love with sakura

SAKURA:what does that suppose to mean

KAKASHI:ahhhh aren't you dead

SAKURA:its a story dumbass

KAKASHI:hey

SAKURA:you know its true

KAKASHI:sense you said that can I have a cookie

SAKURA:no

KAKASHI:fine

ME:hey you two shut the hell up


	3. A Funny Date

I searched carefully for my odd friend, but sadly he was nowhere to be found. I found myself bored and resorted to the kitchen for some chocolate to fulfill my sweet tooth. I sat in the chair by the window at the table for four. The cabinet rapped around the whole kitchen except for a small opening that led through to a hallway. The window sat over a sink built into the cabinets. I watched out the window and started to stare at a long haired women, the hair was a a dark violet. I then realized I was staring at anko.

"Yo kakashi!"shouted anko with a wave. Her hair got longer a little to long for her insanity. I ducked trying to make sure she didn't see me.

"Kakashi what are you doing?"asked iruka from behind. He looked out the window and gave her a friendly smile and wave before she left window view.

"What am I doing look at you, waving at anko that's like falling into the death penalty"I said while looking at my friend like he had gone insane. I tripped over a leg of the chair and fell over onto my butt.

"Serves you right, anko is a nice person and you should be nicer to her"commanded iruka. I stood up and left the room and anger. Where was he going with this, anko's a total creep, but why was she so attracting tell I knew who she was. Why do things rampage through my head as if I was doing a math problem, my whole world normally depended on a pink haired kunochi. I used to get frustrated with how would we match together when I thought about sakura, but with this women it was to easy. Maybe the fact she was to easy to gain was why I didn't want to be near her. I think I used to like the whole hard to get thing with sakura. After I thought about it for a couple seconds I started to get sick, was I really that perverted I thought. My legs drug me off to the living room and sat me down. As I sat down on iruka's old couch my mind started to trail off into weird and erotic thoughts about anko. The man with the scar over his nose walked over to me and gave me several odd looks as I zoned off into space and started to drool.

"Kakashi"iruka said with a quiet scared face. I stayed within my thoughts as he poked me lightly to awake me from my daydream.

"Mum hugh jjmu" I mumbled before he smacked upside the head. I flailed around a little trying to find the source of the red mark on my head.

"Hey are you alive dumbass!"shouted iruka with a fist in the air and cartoon eyes.

"Iruka jesus, what the hell!"I shouted back him.

"You are coming with me to greet anko"he commanded me with his arms crossed.

"Fine only if I get to sit two booths away when we go to a restraunt."

"What restraunt"pleaded iruka.

"Iruka I know you to well, you'll just drag us to a booth and leave us alone"I said while making a face of disgust.

"OK fine, will you go on a date with anko?"

"No"I said calmly and surely while turning my face away. "Your really trying to send me on a date with her"I said full of frustration. Iruka smiled a sum what weird grin.

"Well sorta."

"What do you mean by sorta?"I asked while getting up and slowly backing to the door.

"Well if she doesn't like you then I might get a go"the dolphin said full of joy. I hated this, I didn't even like the women and now I'm being set up with her.

"This is the first time I've ever really seen you scheme something"I announced with a chuckle.

"Just get to the bar by 3:00 tonight"iruka commanded while turning to walk away.

"Oh so now it's at a bar"I teased. Now that the idea of drinking my heart out came to thought, I don't think I'll mind accompanying anko.

"Yes, only because I know you'll get drunk out of your mind and scare her off"iruka clarified before walking away. Now that I think about it, why did he want me there so early.

I eventually got up and took a shower, boy did I like that heat. Normally iruka takes all the heat for his baths, I could never figure out how he used all the heat with those luxurious baths. I left freshly dressed and unsure if I should go into the world like this, a emotional wreck. I took a seat by the door at 5:00, just waiting to be yelled at. Anko came in sporting a crimson, knee-high, dress. I nearly fell over, wow she looked good in a dress. I started to wonder though, when did she ever wear something beautiful, it was always that stupid coat and netting. She came and sat down and took my opportunity to tease the fuck out of her.

"Oh look and I was the late one, yah right"I mocked. She put her small and elegant hand on mine . Beads of sweat were forming at the back of my neck, god she was hot... wait what did I just say?

"Iruka told you to come early so you would be on time, and I saw come in a second ago"she said softly. I was really confused about that point, normally anko would of punched me into the ground and make a smart mouth comment.

"Anko, what the hell happened to you?"I asked plainly. I mean I have a good excuse, my beloved sakura-chan died then I went emotion crazy so yah.

"I realized I'm to old for my childish ways and went to a switch to slutty, yet formal. Lets say this covers a lot more then I normally hide"she said with a bit of laughter. It was like staring at a UFO , every word went down my spine with a shiver.

"Oh OK"I responded while trying to look the other way, but that dress was so red. When she sat down it showed a bit of her thigh and tightened even more to her curves, and I think I'm drooling.

"You seem a bit different yourself, I heard sakura the medic died. I wouldn't believe you would go for a girl 15 years younger. Your were a pervert, but you had your moral standards"she stated while putting out a hand. I was unsure of how to react, she was right and wrong and lastly different. "Oh don't go silent on me, not like you ever did talk"she teased with a smirk. Several men started to surround us and I was really uncomfortable.

"Hey there sweetheart"one of the men said. You know last time I heard that I took the man by the collar and threw him at the wall, yet again that was over sakura. He walked up and grabbed her shoulder, OK that's when I got pissed. We may of been on a forced date, but we were on a date damn-it don't these men have any manners?

"Touch her again and I might just break your arm"I said while taking a sip of the sake in front of me. I gave him one of my old death glares. He gulped and looked at her to see any resistance. She just kept her elegant act up and rolled her eyes. This was going to be fun, I hadn't gotten in a bar fight for a while. I stood up and shoved my hands in my pockets.

"Doesn't look like you want be here"he said with a smirk. Oh god and he thought he had me, some people just don't know the copy-nin when they see him. I grabbed his wrist and gave him a sweet smile seen through the mask. He knew I didn't mean any good from this, after all I didn't have my sharingan covered. Before he could even say help I twisted his arm upside down and grasped hard to break his wrist, not exactly what I planned. He screamed out in pain and I laughed. I let go and he fell onto his back holding his arm. "Oh shit, my arm"the man cried. I made a signal for the other to come at me.

"Ever heard of the copy-nin. He went insane and now he's bloodthirsty"I said with a glance to the floor. I felt good in a way, almost happy. They all backed away and didn't dare to come near me.

"When will you stop acting like a fool and spend some more time with me"stated anko dryly. When I sat down I expected a glare of some sort, instead what I saw was a pleased grin. "Looks as if I got here just in time, your attitude has grown"she said while finishing her cup filled sake.

"Since when have you liked it when I caused others bottley harm for no good reason?" She chuckled a little and looked me in the eyes.

"Have you ever had that feeling for the wrong type, your that type." I blushed a little, then I realized what she was saying. "I could have anyone in this here village, but I think I take the handsome bad boys"she said while looking around the room. She leaned over to me, her chin by my ear and said something disappointing. "You may just be able to help me find that bad boy"she whispered. Her sweet tone ran down my throat like chocolate, I wanted her. I wanted her like forbidden fruit, she had successfully made herself hard to get and now I wanted her. I did know though that my whole reality was falling down on me , so I was utterly speechless. She licked her lips and continued with"Tainted blood, tastes horrible don't you think?" That was the last thing she said before miraculously disappearing that very night. I took my drunkless body home and slept hard as a kunia.


	4. Sakura, Sakura

When I woke up there was a heavy sent in the air, it pressed down on my chest. I nudged my head and felt something hard. I scrunched up my nose and open my eyes slightly. I sat up a bit and tried to see through the squint. I good feel the sheets, the pillow, the mattress, and my hand was laying on something hard and cold. I blinked a couple of times to clear my vision. My hand went through my mop of hair and sat it back down on the frigid surface for support. Once I had my vision I looked over and found iruka in a deep slumber. His headband had fallen off and that was the cold surface, didn't he sleep upstairs. I took a deep sigh and rolled my eyes, dumb ass. I poked him in the gut, he probably didn't feel it after all he was still wearing his clothing. I realized I was bare naked and slipped on my mask and a pair of pants. I jumped up and stretched, wow I was really out of it last night. I went around the bed and knelt down my iruka's face. I looked around for a skinny object to stick in his nose, yes I was going to mess with him. After all the man moved in with me by force and was now sleeping in my bed, he was going to pay. I found a old chopstick and smirked. His breathe soft, not for long. I shoved it up his nostril and he snorted while jumping up. The funny thing though was it was still stuck in his nose.

"What, huh"he questions confusedly before looking cross eyed at his nose. "What the hell is in my nose!"he shouted while clawing at his face. I was cracking up in laughter as he fought for freedom against the chopstick. I fell back and grabbed my stomach in joy. He stopped and looked down to me in a glare. "You did this"he said in a dark tone. His eye twitched and his fingers and toes crunch up.

"Now now iruka, don't be so upset"I said while taking long large breathes after the laughing fit. He frowned and looked away from me, wonder what was bothering him.

"I thought, it's just, no don't worry about it"he said softly. He stood to walk and stopped at the entrance way when I called his name.

"Why are you so upset?"I asked seriously while standing up. He looked down and gave me a side glance.

"I fell asleep in here, because you were crying in your sleep again. Sakura, sakura you repeated, I wonder if you ever saw more then you tell us. I figured that you were back to that state, but I'm sorry I was wrong." The way he said it though, it wasn't just a ordinary "I'm pissed" kinda tone, no it was more "it's your fault so do it yourself". He pointed his face straight and continued toward the hallway. Now that I thought about it though, I didn't even remember my dream. I thought it was good, guess not.

"Sakura, huh you still cry over her"teased a feminine voice. I swished around and found anko sitting with her legs crossed on the window sill. "Well what did you expect, your coming to help me find a future mate"she said with a small smile. Her mini-skirt was completely cheating if you ask me, but so was that tight mini-shirt. She held what seemed to be a umbrella and was twisting it.

"Just wait a minute"I gave in to her commands, but how couldn't I. I pulled on the rest of my jounin uniform on and tightened the bandages. "So who are we checking first?"I questioned. She jumped down before me and picked lightly at my vest.

"Hum, I think we might go with the uzumaki kid-"she was cut off by my laughter. I wiped away a small tear forming and grabbed her shoulder.

"Naruto, you want naruto. Your really did change anko"I announced with another moment of laughter. She removed my hand and brought it up to her lips.

"Whatever makes you feel better. The truth though is that I heard his older sensei isn't half bad looking. He may not be a bad boy, but he is easily scared and that will give me the upper hand. You should know what I mean, it's always good when you can scare your lover"I nodded repeatedly to her lengthy speach. She gave a huff and I returned a little to our world.

"I was listening, but you said a lot"I answered; while trying to clarify. She licked my hand and I jumped back,"What the hell was that?"

"You didn't listen, like I said it's good to send fear down your lovers spine"she said with glare. I guess that was fair and wait she said... oh god this is creepy.

"B-but I'm not your lover"I said with a shiver. She clapped her hands together and cried.

"No and I need one, help me kakashi"she cried into her arm while dropping to her knees. I immediately climbed by her side and patted her back. "God your so easy to fool"she said, while waving her hand and standing up. My eye twitched and she grabbed the back of my vest. "Lets go, you'll know if the emotion is real if I'm not crying or if I don't call you a fool 20 seconds in"she stated, oh boy I wasn't going to like this.

* * *

**Sorry for literally nothing happening in this chapter, but I will give you a hint something iruka says leads to a sad ending for kakashi's old lover and beginning for his new one. **


	5. A True Loves Fantasy

"Anko, anko stop!"I blared, as she drug me by the collar. "I can walk on my own."

"No you can't"she stated while rolling her eyes. The many people in the crowded shopping district were starting to look at me funny. The horrible amount of embarrassment I felt when anko dragged me into special stores. Oh when would this terrible nightmare end, how many stores did she have to drag me to find her perfect outfit. "I let you last store, it took me 20 minutes to find you"she announced. I swing-ed my hands back and forth while trying to keep up with her pace. She insisted that shopping like this must acurr every Friday. All though that would explain the different clothing everyday, wasn't that sakura's job. She slammed on her heels and turned to face me, "Your thinking about her again, aren't you?"she said with a scrunched up nose.

"Well of course, there not much to think about back here"I answered with a smart mouth comment. She smacked me across the face and narrowed her eyes.

"Your a liar. Besides I already know your dirty and pathetic secret"anko stated while lifting a finger to my nose.

"What secret might that be?"I totally had her. I put my hands on my hips and smirked beneath the mask.

"Oh just the one where you watched sakura's true death." I nearly jumped out of my skin how did she now that, it's not like I told anyone. "Poor kakashi was fighting with the normal enemy when oops his blade slipped"she said in a sad way. It seemed like she was teasing me, but I wasn't quiet sure. "Sakura took the blade in the gut, wonder why you were wielding such a large weapon?"

"This is nothing you need to know ok"I said with a glare. She grabbed my chin and shook it playfully.

"It is all of my knowing, after all I was the back up you so asked for. I saw it all, from the part of you slashing her, to the part where they finished her off. That innocent clone of hers ran off to the hospital. You were so shocked when you realized that she ran for help that you mistook the hospital clone for her. You ran to that dastardly place and hoped for the best, but even you know that a clone disappears when you kill them." I wasn't letting her keep this up, it was all true and I hated that. Anko dropped my chin and laughed, it sent a chill down my back.

"Why are you here, why did you come back?"I shouted. She shook her head.

"I already told you that, to find a mate. This little tidbit though is black mail so you will continue to help me"she answered while tracing my lips with her finger. "Funny what these little words can do"she stated. If she told iruka, or tsunade I'd be dead. Should of thought about her part in this story.

"Why, why would you ask me to help you? I'm probably the worst one to ask!"

"That's the whole point, if your pathetic in love you can help people with the same problem"she said while rolling her eyes. Her arms came to a decent rest on her sides.

"I need to sit down"I announced.

"Not if you want to keep your dirty little secret"she said while smiling. I hated her, that bitch was really fucking with me wasn't she? She grabbed both my arms and started to jump up and down. "Oh new person to hunt down."

"Who the hell is it?"

"A certain uchiha boy, and no not sasuke. I could always chase down itachi, I heard he was in town."

"Wow, but itachi's a total outlaw. Oh now I see, ok fine lets go"I commanded. She let go and dunked her head into my vest.

"But, I'm frightened. He's a hard core and I'm a freak"she admitted.

"That's for sure"I teased with a smirk. I was dragged off again only now we were in her little apartment. She unlocked the door and bounced inside. She continued to drag me into the kitchen and sat me down in a seat.

"The chicken is done"anko announced. She pulled the stove open and pulled the food out. "Hot, hot!"she screeched while pulling the steaming metal out.

"Here let me"I said while grabbing the handle, she insisted though that she did it. Her hand smacked mine and finally rested on mine as well. I looked up to her shocked face, it made me tremble. Her eyes wavered from the food to my eyes. Her mouth hung open with a slight opening. She fought to gain confidence, but failed before me.

Slight Anko POV

Our hands touched, our breathing conjoined, my hand trembled on top of his. My confidence was down in the dumps as I realized I had found the one, my true mate. I only asked him to find one though, how would I ever tell him that it was him. I threw that blackmail at him and tortured him, oh god. I had just ruined my love forever and he was confused by my melt down. It started out as pure shock and turned into true turmoil. No I am going to continue to let him help me, there is no chance for us.

Back To Kakashi

"Um you should probably get that"she said with a frown. I wonder what that was all about, just another one of her freak outs I bet.

"Sure, where sho-"I turned to find her and she had left the room. I was going to ask her where to put her special meal, but guess that's not happening any time soon. I searched her home and founds she was locked up in her bedroom. "Come on out of there."

"B-be t-there in a second"she said with a sniffle, whatever that was. I knocked lightly with my knuckles.

"Anko are you ok?"I asked. I heard a few more sniffles before a pilow hit the door, I took that as my queue to leave. You'd think I would of taken that opportunity, but nope I guess I'm just a idiot like that. "Anko, even if you know my dark secret I'll still help you in a time of need." She swung the door open. Her head hung low and her face was red from sadness and embarrassment.

"I need a mate"she said. I didn't quiet understand what this had to do with tears and then it hit me. I grabbed her shoulder and used my hand to force her eyes to mine.

"Anko, your a sharp, bright, beautiful, woman, and no one can take that away from you. Don't you go into a depression like I did, it's not worth the trouble. You will find a mate, a true lover, just wait. Your time will be here as soon as you realize the perfect person for you"I lectured her. It seem to brighten anko's mood some what, she slightly smiled.

Anko POV

He doesn't realize this pain does he, it's horrible like acid seeping through your skin. He may of known the pain of death, but this. This was true pain full of wishes and regrets. The silent muffled tears I shredded, laied staining his jacket. How could he not know this, yet I set my whole word to be unknown. Guess it's not his fault, I did dig myself in this trap myself. He was only a factor of this supposed trap. I forced out a large smile and said fool. He could tell that this was only a cover up for my slip, but he wasn't going to enforce it.

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**I thank all my loyal fans and hope some one reviews soon, I understand it takes a while to get through the first few bad chapters, but they get better as they go along.**


	6. Anko I'm Sorry

**Narrorator's POV**

"North gate, no now it's the west!"barked sakura. Her kunia fell and she reached for a new one. A enemy ninja saw the opening and ran at her. She immediately jumped over and above him, dodging the attack. She landed safely with another kunia in hand. She turned around ready to slash the carotid artery and end the enemy right there. He was gone and no where to be seen, she knew what was happening.

"Kakashi, we're in a genjutsu"she stated. She stepped back a few to get closer to her partner and bended her legs. She held the kunia up by her chest for protection. She could nearly feel kakashi behind her, back to back.

"I know"he replied. He was calm, some how he always was. He too held a kunia up and bended for a protective pose. Sakura was breathing heavily and trying to recover from the laceration on her leg. It was right above the femur bone and left a long trickle of blood down her leg. For once a mission had actually gotten to her. Kakashi on the other hand was fine, not mentally, but he was OK in health wise, just a couple bruises and small cuts. They were ready for whatever was gonna come next.

"If we're imobilized by a genjutsu then how are they going to defend the south gate?"she asked. He shook his head and sighed while covering the gap between them. She couldn't take it though, the calm reaction. She was friggen bleeding everywhere, the village was under attack, and he was still calm as a cucumber.

"They won't, the genin will have to fight them off in the middle of the village"he announced. She could feel him quiver under his breathe and drop his kunia.

"Are you OK?"she asked. He was, on the outside that is. On the inside he was fighting a harmful bacteria and was using sheer will power to hold himself up. His legs were shaking, his head hanging low.

"Ya, I'm fine"kakashi answered. The bacteria was really taking his immune system and energy for a spin. He dropped to the ground and coughed a couple of times.

"No, your not fine"she said while turning around and jumping down to his side. As he bent over for air she noticed what looked like a small entrance wound on his lower back. She remembered when he had went to cover her the enemy specialized in small poisoness weapons, maybe just maybe. She reached for his back and lifted the vest, there she found a purple residue around the wound. Her suspicions were correct, he had been poisoned, but with what exactly? She guess, only because few poisons left that kind of residue.

"Sakura, this genjutsu is being held by a master, do you think you can break it?"he asked. He could be dieing right there, but he still was battling. She pulled his vest down and put her hands together. He could hear her piece the jutsu together and said the figure for each sign. "Dog, dragon, tiger"he announced. He realized then the signs she was reading for,"Sakura, don't use that jutsu"he commanded her.

"Shut the fuck up. Your on the ferge of death and I don't fell like carrying a dead body around the battle feild!"she shouted. The word death kinda surprised him, the fact that he didn't think coughing was much of a symtom scared the shit out of him.

"That still doesn't mean you need to do something as dangerous"kakashi clarified. She was still going to smack him though if he kept talking. She finished the hands signs and pressed them to the ground. A burst of white space and then back to the bloody fight they were previously at. Kakashi just waited for sakura to fall over from lack of chakra, but no she never did."You ok back there?"he asked in a hoarse voice.

"Don't look up"she said piece by piece in a frightened and shaken voice. He couldn't take it, the whole curiosity of it was eating him alive.

"Why is that?"he asked. Sakura sounded like she was ready to cry under her enemies sight. "Sakura what's going on?"he asked again. She wasn't answering him, something was really wrong. "Sakura god damn-it respond"he commanded. The silence once again ensued leaving him dumbfounded.

"Humph, just as I thought another weakling"announced the enemy with a smirk. Kakashi lifted his head in a desperate atempt to see the man.

"Sasuke"kakashi whispered under his vision. He held out a hand to his former sensei and smiled. "Why, why are you here?"asked kakashi.

"To help with the death of sakura-san"stated sasuke, slowly morphing into his elder brother. Kakashi quickly looked over to sakura and saw her lay unmoving.

"Sakura!"he shouted. A rolling pain came up his throat and forced a stream of blood to come spilling from his mouth. "Sakura"he whispered before falling to his death.

**Back To Kakashi**

I woke up literally jumping out of bed, the dreams they just got more realistic, but I wasn't going to tell anyone. A new day started and anko was all kinds of excited, don't ask why. She searched through all her clothing for a hour trying to find a outfit. It finally ended with a green tank top and some tight blue shorts. May I say though, his women has way to much clothing to be wearing this. I sat on her bed yawning repeatedly while waiting for her to come out of the bathroom. The door swung open and she finally came out, how long does it take for a women to get dressed.

"Kay, kakashi your going to help me get itachi"she stated. She pranced around the mirror a little and came back to me. She stood in front of me smiling happily, wonder what was up with yesterdays frown. "You look, how should I put it, confused." I looked down and scrunched up my nose. I was a little confused though, I mean anko was freaking me the fuck out.

"Why were you so upset yesterday?"I asked. She looked bewildered and pissed at my question.

"Whats that all about you bastard?"she shouted while crossing her arms and turning around. I sighed and stood up, while grabbing her shoulders. She started to shake and I took her into my arms.

"So flustered now a days, arn't you?"I whispered in her ear. She grabbed my hand on her arm and threw it away from her.

**Anko Pov**

To close, to close for comfort. What was his gain from this, I thought he was frightened of me. More importantly he was pissed not to long ago. This intimate encounter was to much, damn my heart. Maybe being the weird bloodthirsty women was better then this. I immediately had to separate the two of us. If only he could see my pain and suffering, if only he knew the real reason for the change.

**Back To Kakashi**

"Anko, what are you doing?"I asked her, as she angrily jumped out of my arms and ran to the kitchen. She refused anything I ever did, what the fuck did I ever do to her?

"Itachi, lets go find itachi god damn-it!"she shouted while slamming the front door. I chased after her. Leave me behind my ass, I'm a leader. I grabbed her arm and was refused again as she continued to run. Yep, that's right she kept running even with me hanging off of her like a leech. I hit the ground like a flailing fish over and over.

"Anko, your hurting me"I pleaded.

"Oh come on your the copy-nin, take it like a man"she stated while throwing me onto the ground in front of her. "You've always been a whiner, your frigging baby. I picked you, now face it or I'll slit your throat OK!"she shouted. I took a hard gulp and stood up.

"Gotcha"I said frightened. She continued to take me along, until we stopped at the gates. "Anko I don't have a good feeling about this"I stated.

"Of course you don't, itachi's meeting me here in about two minutes"she said with a chuckle. I hid behind the door and watched lazy itachi stroll in.

"You had something to ask me?"

"Yah, I was wondering if maybe you could go on a date with me?"asked anko. Itachi covered his mouth from laughter. He cleared his throat and looked at her seriously.

"You are kidding right?"

"No, I really admire you"she said with a soft grin. God this was hilarious, anko being rejected like this.

"Well you might want to move on, I'm here for kakashi"he said while walking past her. She went red face and a vain popped out of her forehead.

"Why for kakashi, you bastard kakashi"she muttered under her breathe. Itachi stopped and looked back at her.

"You should give that man sympathy, a dead lover can really screw with your mind. Especially the fact that she slept with another man, before the death. That hit me like acid, she did what? I ran out from my hiding place.

"She did what?"I shouted. About now anko was starting to fall into tears, real tears.

"Oh you didn't know, I apologize. Meet me tomorrow at the bar"he said while walking away. We returned to anko's home again and she wasn't talking.

"Anko, I'm sorry."

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**God sorry for the delay, the next chapter will truly be the best. It's tied to the scene where anko truly falls for kakashi, yep in her house with kakashi's please**


	7. Lies Are Everything

Anko was sitting silently unmoving on her bed. I didn't know how to react, this was weird, weirder then itachi's words. I stood leaning on the entrance to the bedroom and watched her. Her hands in her lap shaped like a butterfly.

"Anko, I don't care if I am to be scolded. Just talk"I requested. Anko stood up and walked up to me. She leaned her head into my vest.

"I need a lover, a true soul mate"she cried. God that line was getting old. I rapped my arm around her figure and dipped her slightly.

"Fuck this, if you need a lover I'm right here!"I shouted a bit. Anko looked like she was going to cry again, but this time she had a smile again. I pulled the mask down and laid my lips gently on hers. Poor anko, she looked utterly helpless, didn't feel that in the kiss though. Her tongue dancing with mine I pulled away. She looked so stunned, but I would kill to keep that smile on her face. Although I had to wonder, what was this feeling It was mysterious and it felt like the time I first kissed sakura. Shit I found another true love.

"Anko, theirs still some secrets your not telling me"I stated. She looked down and frowned, god damn-it do I have to kiss her again. "Anko, that was not meant to be hurtful"I added.

"Your right, I saw the necessary problem to leave. You were in love with some one else, how could I even compete with miss sakura. So I left and changed myself and lost the pressure of guilt and a crush, until you came back to cross my path." That was a lot of words to suck in at once, I mean really. I grazed her cheek with my fingers, sending chills down anko and my spine.

"Now that is out of the way."

"So you only did that to get answers?"

"Anko what makes you think that if I'm going to kiss you again?" She blushed and smiled lightly. There was that smile again, makes me so happy. I pulled her even tighter and gave her another heart dancing lip warming kiss. It lasted a while, I would tell you how good it was, but the rating wouldn't allow that. I pulled away once again.

"The only problem I see in this though, is that I haven't told the village the reason sakura's dead. I have a promise to fill"I stated with my own frown.

**Anko Pov**

Sakura is the cause for his frown, isn't she? Even in death she causes him unhappiness, I hate it. And if he tells them he might be punished greatly, I can't have that happen. Kakashi I hope you to be my future lover, death do us part. I mustn't let that happen, you mustn't let it happen. Your my friend and now mistake taker, can't let a soon boyfriend die.

**Back To Kakashi**

She closed her eyes and let a tear slip. She bit her lip in frustration and fought to keep the words in. I couldn't help but wipe those pain stricken drops off of her lovely skin. Anko, please don't cry for me.

"Anko, it must be done."

"You can't I don't want to see you be punished." She begged letting more tears fall over like waterfalls.

"Anko, you said it yourself it's a dirty little secret"I genuinely meant this. I wanted to get rid of this burden.

"Sakura didn't deserve a death like that I admit it, but kakashi you have a new person depending on your presence. Don't leave me alone"she begged. I brought our stance back to a straight stand and pulled back. She just stood there, so sad I hate that frown. I left her alone, just like she hoped I wouldn't. I had to do it, I showed her all secrets can't lay still forever.

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**One or two more chapters and I'll finally be done with this aful story.**


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